Two steps forward, one step back...

For those of you who know me in the 'real world', you know that I've been struggling health-wise for the last year. Constant throat and lung infections, frequent colds, routine sleeping problems, serious lack of energy, etc. etc. I've been under the care of my GP and a specialist since November and finally we've made some progress it appears. I no longer regularly feel like I don't have enough energy to sit up and I haven't had a really nasty infection since mid-November. Actually, in two weeks time it will be 3 months since I've had to miss work due to illness which is sadly a personal best over the last year plus.

To keep myself 'well', I'm on a myriad of supplements and drugs right now and I've been working part-time since late November. I'm taking oral antihistamines, a steroid nasal inhaler, vitamins C and D, zinc, Turmeric, a multi-vitamin and then of course I have my trusty oral inhalers in case of allergy or exercise induced asthma (as if I have been exercising since October!). To help with the sleeping issues, I take Valerian root. When my sleeplessness gets really bad, I supplement the valerian with a sleep-inducing drug my specialist gave me which gives me incredible dry mouth. All of this pharmacology seems to be helping, but I am not sure which one of the myriad is actually helping me the most because there are so damn many of them.

After the Christmas holidays, I felt better than I had all year. I felt like myself again, so I started working more hours and not spending as much time in bed feeling sorry for myself. This weekend, however, I am feeling like a cold is coming on and I'm pretty lethargic and icky feeling generally. Instead of taking it like a champ and just waiting out the cold like my old self would have done, I'm ridiculously paranoid that it means I'm not getting better and that I'll have to miss more work as a result. I'm so paranoid about it that I get angry with my husband if he tosses and turns too much in his sleep, waking me up and causing me to 'harm' my immune system by a lack of solid REM sleep. I've taken to sleeping in the spare room whenever his snoring is too loud or he moves too much in his sleep (God do I hate being a light sleeper!). I also get angry with anyone who smokes a cigarette near me or and I mildly panic whenever I enter a building that's got more mould than any other living organism inside (which, let's be honest, is REALLY common in the UK).

I am obsessed with staying well and the fact I feel tired and worn down this weekend does not bode well in my mind. I just want to feel healthy for like 4 straight months, is that too much to ask? I mean if I feel like this when I'm 34, that sure doesn't give me much hope for 74 now does it?!

The good news is, there is nothing significantly wrong with me. I'm a healthy woman. I'm not obese, I don't have heart problems, I'm mentally and physically fit. It's really just a small burden that I am allergic to a lot of what surrounds me on this damp dark island. I really shouldn't whinge so much, you know? That said, when you live in capital of world-wide whingers, it's really easy to get away with a good moan periodically. Thanks for 'listening' to mine.