First off, I am an idiot. I was measuring out shots of vodka tonight so as to keep within my dietary allowance yet still get a buzz. A few drinks in and NADA, so I decided "fuck being healthy, I'm gonna get drunk" and measured out some more. Ha. To my chagrin, I'm a complete idiot and was using the 'tablespoon' line on my new fancing shot glass measuring cup instead of ounces. No wonder I wasn't drunk - I was getting less than half of the juice than I thought. LOL dear lord I'm an idiot.
Next thing to bitch about. My face. I acknowledge the fact that I am not ugly, deformed or gross in any remote way. Pretty in a nerdy-girl way I can even acknowledge. But one thing I hate about myself is that I am far more pretty in pictures than I am in real life. Being photogenic is definitely NOT a curse, but why in the hell did I not realize this when I was younger and could actually make some money from it, even if it was just doing Schottenstein's ads or something? And to be honest, I'd rather look that good in real life instead of being someone that "takes a good picture". Seriously, i've actually had guys comment about how much great I look in pictures as if it's okay to say i'm hot in pics and not in person. Bleh. fuck em all. By the way, for those of you who might be reading this and know me, don't even bother trying to convince me that I'm just as pretty in person as I am in pics, or that looks don't matter or that I'm being silly. I really truly don't care what your opinion is on this matter, as I am actively choosing to obsess about it independent of anyone else's existence and my stance cannot be changed. Ha.
Tomorrow is allergy testing and pulmonary function testing day. Woot woot woot. I can't wait, but not because I think the testing is going to do squat to help with my allergies or breathing issues, but because I cannot WAIT to take my allergy meds again. Going 2 days without has been miserable. I woke up at 530am this morning in mid-sneeze from a sound sleep! Seriously, how does that even happen? I can't wait to ingest the latest loves of my life - zyrtec and singulair. Oh how I love thee, prescription antihistamines. Cometh with me to a day with less snot and eyes which are not red. Let us bask in the joy of no sneezing. Aye, do I miss thee...
Ok i'm bored with blogging for now. Talk at you later.
x
j.
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
6.9.07
5.9.07
woo first post woo
So. Here I am. Yes, blogging. And yes, not on myspace or facebook. Woo.
I am currently undergoing polarity therapy and my lovely therapist, Suzi Wilcoff, recommended I start writing down my feelings whenever I feel blocked or anxious. And I hate hand writing anything...so here I am. Now, let's be clear about these polarity treatments... I am not paying for them. If I were, I would not be going. Not that they aren't helpful - they are incredibly relaxing and cleansing - but I just can't afford shit like this when I could get acupuncture or counselling on my insurance for far cheaper. Alas, it is not I who pays for these sessions, it is the CXO of my company. She's worried about my stress levels and struggles with asthma-like symptoms lately, and gave me four sessions as a gift. Two sessions down now, two to go. And yes, I like it a lot. Not as much as I like the herbal tea Suzi gave me to make at home, but almost as much. And no, I'm not a hippie, new age-ist or any sort of guru following gal. I just like the intimacy of bonding with a complete yet sensitive stranger over my day's woes and getting a massage while we're talking. And did I mention that it's free?
Struggling a lot lately with figuring out my future. Not my long term forever future - I pretty much know where I want that to lead - but the short term what-do-i-do-until-i-move-to-England future. Work sucks. My family vacillates between annoying me and amusing me on a weekly basis. Me and my friends aren't as down depressed and desperate as we all used to be, so we don't spend 3-4 nights a week together anymore. And I have options. Lots of them. Yet I feel completely paralyzed sometimes, like I couldn't walk three feet to my front door let alone handle making a complete life change over the next few months. And I am waiting on a job offer from a past employer in the UK, incredibly incredibly impatiently.
All that sad, I am happy. I'm in love, I'm sure about what I want - more than ever before- and I definitely can't wait to get out of this allergen-infested State as soon as I can. By the way, I can't take my allergy medicine for the next two days because I have testing on Thursday. Which is horrid because the ugly guy on the news just said this week is going to be absolutely killer on allergy sufferers because of hot stagnant weather. Blech.
Later peeps. Gonna drink my herbal tea and force sleep upon my busy mind.
x
I am currently undergoing polarity therapy and my lovely therapist, Suzi Wilcoff, recommended I start writing down my feelings whenever I feel blocked or anxious. And I hate hand writing anything...so here I am. Now, let's be clear about these polarity treatments... I am not paying for them. If I were, I would not be going. Not that they aren't helpful - they are incredibly relaxing and cleansing - but I just can't afford shit like this when I could get acupuncture or counselling on my insurance for far cheaper. Alas, it is not I who pays for these sessions, it is the CXO of my company. She's worried about my stress levels and struggles with asthma-like symptoms lately, and gave me four sessions as a gift. Two sessions down now, two to go. And yes, I like it a lot. Not as much as I like the herbal tea Suzi gave me to make at home, but almost as much. And no, I'm not a hippie, new age-ist or any sort of guru following gal. I just like the intimacy of bonding with a complete yet sensitive stranger over my day's woes and getting a massage while we're talking. And did I mention that it's free?
Struggling a lot lately with figuring out my future. Not my long term forever future - I pretty much know where I want that to lead - but the short term what-do-i-do-until-i-move-to-England future. Work sucks. My family vacillates between annoying me and amusing me on a weekly basis. Me and my friends aren't as down depressed and desperate as we all used to be, so we don't spend 3-4 nights a week together anymore. And I have options. Lots of them. Yet I feel completely paralyzed sometimes, like I couldn't walk three feet to my front door let alone handle making a complete life change over the next few months. And I am waiting on a job offer from a past employer in the UK, incredibly incredibly impatiently.
All that sad, I am happy. I'm in love, I'm sure about what I want - more than ever before- and I definitely can't wait to get out of this allergen-infested State as soon as I can. By the way, I can't take my allergy medicine for the next two days because I have testing on Thursday. Which is horrid because the ugly guy on the news just said this week is going to be absolutely killer on allergy sufferers because of hot stagnant weather. Blech.
Later peeps. Gonna drink my herbal tea and force sleep upon my busy mind.
x
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